


Harem

by tzxmus



Series: Sammi's Old Threadfics [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Oblivious Miya Atsumu, atsumu harem, i mean if you squint enough, it's just me forcing my atsumu harem agenda, normalize clowning everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29946612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tzxmus/pseuds/tzxmus
Summary: Everyone suffers after they join the Atsumu harem.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Everyone
Series: Sammi's Old Threadfics [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2202318
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

Everyone pines over Atsumu with a healthy dose of oblivious Atsumu who is just so happy he and some of his best friends got chosen to be on the team.

Whenever someone got a call they were accepted onto the team, Atsumu was one of the people they called. First of all, Kageyama and Atsumu were some of the first to get finalized as part of the lineup, but Atsumu is the most vocally and physically affectionate out of the two.

The moment someone calls him or drives to see him to tell them, he just throws himself onto them and hugs them while showering them in praises, "You are so good at ___, of course you got it! They'd be stupid to not let you in!" And everyone gets a little warm and fuzzy inside because whenever Atsumu compliments someone, they always knows it's real.

He brings them to Onigiri Miya to announce it to Osamu, even though Osamu is casually just working a business, and throws a mini celebration each time because "You got on the National Team! You deserve a treat!"

Once they start practicing together, everyone knows they're a little bit f*cked. Atsumu is as dedicated as they come, pushing and pulling spikers and blockers easily as if he is controlling the court.

And goddammit, every time they do a good play, Hinata is welcomes by a solid hi-five before the younger man hugs him instead (Atsumu hugs best hugs). Sakusa is thrown one of those flirty and proud smiles that melts hearts. Aran is showered in all the praises and excited claps. Ushijima receives fist bumps and hugs. Bokuto lunges and tackles Atsumu onto the ground so his giggles fill the gym. They always gloat when it happens because they were the one to make him smile, everyone else can take a seat. They made Atsumu smile, basically married.

Komori, unable to spike, pouts when Atsumu doesn't direct any of his affection towards him. But, fear not because dumb Atsumu will stand next to him and playfully ruffle his hair and congratulate him on exceptional receives, which is just as good as anything else.

Kageyama tries to get more spiking practice in, and Atsumu's knowing look as he nods, the single pat on his head each time because of Kageyama's awkward nature and a sweet smile always makes him smirk at the others.

The first for Atsumu's attention and physical affection might be won by Suna, who just needs to saunter over and plop himself onto Atsumu's lap.

Atsumu's dumb self always worries whenever Suna does it, fussing over him because Suna is feeling down or just in the right mood, so he showers Suna with affectionate hugs and hair ruffles whenever Suna looks mildly unhappy. (The others say Suna looks normal but Atsumu always says, "No, today might be a bad day...") If everyone else gloats, with smirks or winks, Suna straight up brags to everyone about it. Atsumu and Suna, at Inarizaki, used to tap their knuckles against the other's shoulder, and they still do it. It isn't fair, hate them.

Atsumu is also too charismatic

for his own good. He gets invited to interviews all the time where people fight to sit next to him because if they do, he'll playfully tap their shoulder, whisper into their ear, or straight up laugh while holding onto them. He almost always gets invited (or forced) to interviews because is one of the most well spoken with Komori and Aran. Hinata, Bokuto, and Suna are invited a moderate amount because they are too energetic or too bored. Kageyama and Ushijima are always confused about what is happening, so they get paired with Atsumu a lot.

Basically, they just fight for who gets to be in an interview with Atsumu.

If a hashtag of their ship name becomes more popular (Akaashi helps keep tabs because he thinks it's funny), they will not stop bragging about it until Atsumu has to ask what's going on. No one will tell him.

TINY WAIST, THICK THIGHS, BUFF ATSUMU should be illegal, they all agree, while they watch him fit into clothes for photoshoots and modeling gigs. Just imagine all the fitted clothes that are customized to fit his assets and he will just not know why the h*ll everyone is looking at him like that. Legit, he just bounces over to one and they choke.

(Atsumu calls Osamu and Osamu always just laughs)

If that isn't enough, him with styled hair makes him look drop dead gorgeous when he looks at the camera with a dark stare. Like, WHY IS HE SO HOT?!

Sometimes, some of the members take pictures of Atsumu from the sidelines. Hinata, Bokuto, and Kageyama forget to turn off the flash. Ushijima and Aran don't do it because they are too busy admiring their friend. Suna, Komori, and Sakusa take the best pictures as if they are cameramen for the photoshoot. If the photoshoot is bad, they'll send in a few to the group chat and rant about how bad the actual photographers did (the photographers are usually fine but they notice the small details that make them p i s s e d and Atsumu never understand why).

(Suna and Komori blur some of their pics and send them in sometimes so the others can be jealous about how they can't see the perfect creation of Atsumu. Sadists—)

Whenever they win a big game, Atsumu invites people to his room so they can just play games and have a good time. He asks based on the order of who he sees first but they all claim it's the order of who did best during the game and flaunt their numbers.

Sometimes one will invite Atsumu out on a "date" and somehow, everyone else knows too and it's suddenly a group date or just a friend hangout. (When they see Atsumu smiling, they can't even bring themselves to say know. Whipped.)

They always try to show off to Atsumu with luxurious gifts and promises of grand adventure, Atsumu accepts the trips as long as he pays for himself and rejects anything that costs too much because "You need to be better with your money!" (They're all rich kids now, they can afford to splurge)

If someone insults Atsumu's plays in the middle of a match or after (language barriers are no problems because members are multilingual and if not, Bokuto can "sense they said something about Tsum Tsum!" or Komori "saw them give Atsu the side-eye earlier.")

When people try to flirt with him, Atsumu harem is always lingering around to see what will happen (to fight them if they hurt Atsumu once Atsumu rejects them) but usually, Atsumu ends up bragging about his friends instead because he is really proud of them and honored to be on their team. He calls them monsters a lot and when the others refer to themselves, they constantly call themselves the Monster Generation because Atsumu says it.

Everyone else is tired of their shit.


	2. Chapter 2

Before they play their first game, the JNT notices how strangely Iwaizumi is acting (or Atsumu notices first and everyone else notices because they're annoyed Atsumu's attention is on the clearly uncaring trainer).

Iwaizumi is constantly on his phone and laughing at something, which makes Atsumu a little curious. But, he is polite  _ enough _ to not keep prying when Iwaizumi clearly doesn't want to say. He turns to Kuroo instead, who is friends with Iwaizumi and has connections to everyone.

And Kuroo, the sly cat, trades his information for tiny acts of physical affection: a hug, a hi-five, a fist bump, sometimes a promise to play a recreational game of volleyball with him. Atsumu, who is slightly oblivious to why they would want physical affection from him, just laughs, "You can just ask any time and I'll give them to you?"

Now, Atsumu greets Kuroo with a hug or hi-five, and he never fails to mock the JNT because they usually just get a wave. Atsumu full-on runs and tackles Kuroo (because Kuroo said the tackles are his favorite and Atsumu will do it).

The first one to snap is surprisingly Hoshiumi, who yells at them for always being so affectionate because it's distracting and stomps away. Everyone grabs their pitchforks as Atsumu slips away to talk to him.

It was there that Hoshiumi states that he is a  _ little _ homesick but too ashamed to admit it. Atsumu resembles a dog a bit too much and makes him miss his dog. He likes hugs and if he's feeling down, likes sitting on laps and having someone pat his hair, but his prideful nature won't let anyone get too close and they all don't like him that much anyway (which is not true).

Atsumu offers to do both, knowing how tiny acts of affection means a lot when feeling lonely. He remembers leaving Osamu for Osaka and he almost cried when Meian ruffled his hair the first time because he missed his brother's love so much.

They do it privately, hugs and what not, but one day, when Hoshiumi was feeling especially bad, he just tugs on Atsumu's sleeve and Atsumu just envelops him in a hug, pulls him onto the bench and doesn't let go.

It's hard to make Hoshiumi leave Atsumu's side after that because he likes being the target of Atsumu's affection.

Doesn't matter, everyone is already fighting for hugs and touches.

ANYWAY! Kuroo reveals that the one Iwaizumi is texting is Oikawa from Argentina and Kuroo can introduce Atsumu if he wants (Kuroo has a mental debate because he doesn't want more competition, but making Atsumu happy makes him better than the others. Atsumu's face glows when he nods and laughs, so Kuroo is a winner.)

Now comes Oikawa, who is too similar to Atsumu but for different reasons. Slightly proud, skilled setters who dedicate their lives to volleyball, Oikawa is annoyed before he is intrigued.

Everyone flocks to Atsumu but seems to leave Oikawa in the dust, why? They are equally beautiful, Oikawa thinks, even though Atsumu's hips... his waist... his  _ muscles _ ... They both have good faces, his eyes that show his emotions and his hair that looks way nicer than Oikawa realized.

It's not his physical appearance that draws people in. Oikawa plays a recreational game with Atsumu and he sees how his face lights up and how he proudly supports his spikers and their experimental moves. He sees how Atsumu's sets perfectly pull people to meet their full potential while supporting them with sets that are comfortable. His movements are beautiful, god Oikawa wished he could play with Atsumu...

Atsumu exchanges contact with Oikawa and Oikawa is ecstatic at Atsumu's fond smile and promise for more fun games after the official matches are over. They become really good texting buddies because Atsumu can't be physically affectionate with someone he barely sees. Instead, he starts calling Oikawa "babe" and "love" because Oikawa says they're cute and make him happy.

How the hell did they get so close?!

The rest of the team is just staring at Atsumu as he cheerfully answers his phone with "Yes, Tooru babe, how are you?"

Suna is especially a bit possessive because  _ excuse him _ but Atsumu is  _ his _ best friend. Not some "Tooru babe"'s best friend! Suna is a little pouty the next day and Atsumu doesn't hesitate to shower him in whatever he needs. He brings Suna out to talk and Suna just says he misses hanging out with  _ his _ best friend since everyone likes him and wants his attention (Atsumu laughs and says no one really likes him and if Osamu was there, he would've slapped him).

But, Atsumu says he misses hanging with Suna too, it's nice to have some familiar company. They start going on "dates" after practice every week on Friday but Suna wanted to keep it a secret because this was his Atsumu time—

Atsumu tells Aran and invites Aran to join. Aran just smirks at a glowering Suna as he slides into the seat next to Atsumu instead of across and if looks could kill, Aran would be so far under. Just to spite him, Aran bumps shoulders with Atsumu, spills a little food to make Atsumu fuss over him, and declares they should do it more often. (Atsumu is too happy for Suna to say no, he hates being such a damn simp)

Hinata and Kageyama catch wind of it and want to ask to hang out too. But, every man for himself because Hinata asks for a MSBY "reunion" where the usual four hang out and play games in Sakusa's room like old times (Sorry Kageyama). Sakusa instantly agrees and Atsumu frets over whether or not Sakusa will be uncomfortable. Oh, to be Sakusa and have Atsumu worry over them, Bokuto pouts.

They go to Bokuto's room instead because none of them want to argue. Atsumu shows up a few hours early to help clean Bokuto's mess of a room and cook something to eat for everyone. Bokuto is dragged everywhere because he won't let go of Atsumu in an apron.

The other two show up annoyed at the sight because it's not  _ fair _ ! Hinata did all the work and it was supposed to be in Sakusa's room! Atsumu opens his arms to Hinata and the moment the smaller man jumps into his arms, he melts into a happy smile.

They eat all their favorites while talking about random things, but their hearts get a little warmer.

Kageyama timidly asks for setter advice, unsure of what else to say. Atsumu doesn't turn away, grinning and gloating that he is the better setter before being reduced to a flushed mess because Kageyama agrees with a smile.

Ushijima shows up to see the two talk about volleyball, surprised to see Atsumu affectionately ruffling Kageyama's hair. "Come talk to me whenever." So does he talk to him. He isn't that stupid, he sees others talking to him and suddenly: "Atsumu-san? Can I ask you something?"

Everyone else knows but dammit Atsumu, why are you so oblivious?

Ushijima wants some too and doesn't know how to do it. So, he straight up asks Atsumu for attention and tries to "platonically flirt'' with him... It might be a joke but Atsumu just plops down on Ushijima's lap whenever they talk now and wrap his arms around Ushijima's neck or rests against his shoulder. Ushijima constantly shows him things on his phone to elicit a laugh from the blonde and somehow, to everyone else's amazement, it  _ works _ . Only works for Ushijima, though, because Hoshiumi, Hinata, and Bokuto all tried to make him awkwardly blink and chuckle.

Komori is out here falling behind and everyone is rubbing it in his damn face. Like, he  _ knows _ he hasn't been able to talk to Atsumu as much but Atsumu is still plenty happy and sweet to him.

Atsumu watches in surprise when Komori slams his locker shut after the others whisper something in his ear. When Atsumu chases after him to ask, he just says, "I haven't been sleeping too well."

The setter just nods in understanding and offers, "I used to make tea before Samu and I go to sleep when we couldn't sleep. I can drop by and make some?"

Komori embarrassedly agrees, and it quickly becomes a routine. Atsumu shows up with tea and leaves as Komori dozes off, or Komori would ask to go to Atsumu's room and just sleep on a couch. Atsumu quickly would give him the mattress to make sure Komori slept well and sometimes, Komori would just wonder why people disliked him so much when he is just a beautiful and sweet, a little confident, angel.

Most of the JNT agree and they do anything to keep him happy.

Yaku just wants to know how he has everyone wrapped around his finger.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Co-wrote this with https://twitter.com/tsumega in a "threadfic"! I just edited it a bit to make it more cohesive together!

Yaku's just out here wondering, "What did I miss when I went to Russia?!" Despite his attempts to seem as if he doesn't care while he secretly keeps track of everything.

Bystanders are just roped into their arguments when they fight over who is "winning". Everyone else is so confused and Yaku whips out his phone: "Suna is winning and Oikawa is last. Shame on him, he should try harder." and then just walks away—

Whenever Osamu visits, Yaku walks over to show him his phone and notes that keeps track of everything. Osamu just nods and watches everyone trip over themselves to get Atsumu's attention.

Once Oikawa learns he is last (probably from Iwaizumi to make fun of him), he starts reporting to Yaku for points. The text thread is filled with pictures and "I hugged Atsumu, give me a point" and Yaku leaves him on read. Everyone does the same to get more points—

After a game, they'll ask Yaku what the score is and Yaku just stares, "Are you serious? I was playing! Why would I be paying attention to that?" The benchwarmers learn to keep score but for some reason, they only trust Yaku. He can never quit.

Sitting in his bubble of suffering, thinking, "I don't get paid enough for this."

Yaku seriously wants to hate Atsumu for indirectly giving him so much trouble but Atsumu who notices and takes care of him when he gets injured is hard to hate.

He hates everyone else for making it so damn complicated—

He stands to the side, thinking, "Ugh, Atsumu, I hate you," but then witnesses Atsumu pout with glossy eyes and immediately apologizes. Yaku sees the team staring at him but he just rolls his eyes and flips them off. He continues getting atsumu's attention to fuck with them.

The chaos if Yaku unintentionally becomes close to Atsumu because Atsumu is curious about his international stories. They end up talking and having a lot of deeper conversations and one day, Atsumu walks in calling Yaku by a nickname and Yaku laughs at everyone cuz he's winning.

Everyone corners him, complaining about it, and he responds with, "Well if you want him, work for it." Then, he walks away and goes to Atsumu.

After, some try to confess, but Atsumu is used to saying "I love you" platonically. Whenever someone says it, he just grins and tells them all "I love you too!"

They always go to Osamu, who just laughs at them because they're  _ hopeless _ .

They try to ask advice from Osamu but he's too busy cackling over their suffering in despair. When he finally calms down, he's like, "You're all fucked, my brother is too dense."

They all decide to take turns asking him on a date. Some smart employee should make them star in a dating show where Atsumu doesn't even the notice the camera popping out of nowhere to zoom in on everyone's disappointed faces because they're all "just friends" with Atsumu—

They have an entire YouTube series, the intro starting with, “Welcome back to choose your man: atsumu edition. Here’s your host, Yaku Morisuke!”

Atsumu ends the season like, "My favorite part was seeing Samu so much and spending time with all my friends."

Osamu laughs at them all for losing—


End file.
